Did Sibling's Day catch you by surprise
too? I've never heard of it before this year and then only because my
sister posted a picture on Facebook and tagged me, that's the picture on the left. Sibling's Day for
me brought on an intense melancholy that I can't seem to shake. The
circumstances surrounding my brother's death were curious. Jack's
emotional wounds were too deep to overcome, but I believe, had he
chosen more discerningly when selecting a partner, his story may have
played out differently. It got me thinking about our choices in
life...especially our choice of life partners.
I use the words “life partner”
because it might be a friend or relative that you've had in your life
for years; it might be your mother (she says with tongue in cheek).
If they are not serving your highest and greatest good, then why do
we keep them in our lives? Habit. Social norms. Delusion. Ah, the
amazing, complicated psyche.
I am not denying personal
responsibility when it comes to steering our lives, but who we have
around us matters. Jack chose a toxic partner, but I suppose that was
their karma to work out.
Here is what I know of my choice in
partners: Pete challenges me and I challenge him. I didn't always
appreciate this quality in him, but I think that is where the magic
lies. It is easy to have a yes man/woman in your life, but harder to
have someone that challenges your world view. The thing is, having
someone you love and respect challenge your world view is where
growth comes from.
I have a friend, a really
straight-laced, khaki pants, sport jacket kind of guy, who once said
to me “You are really a seeker Lisa.” I liked that. I also like
that Pete and I worked through all our shit to get to this good
place. This place where we can appreciate input from our partner;
sometimes I change my course based on Pete's input, sometimes I
don't, but I greatly appreciate the love and respect he gives me as
he tells me he doesn't see it the way I see it. What I took away from
Sibling's Day was to choose your partner well. It can make all the
difference for those of us seekers trying to create a happy life.
In my quietest moments, those moments
where there's a crack in time and I hover between dream and reality,
that's when my imagination wanders; I create a life for my brother in
great, painful, detail...and then I wake, wishing once more that
he had chosen differently.
