Thoughts on Sibling's Day

Did Sibling's Day catch you by surprise too? I've never heard of it before this year and then only because my sister posted a picture on Facebook and tagged me, that's the picture on the left. Sibling's Day for me brought on an intense melancholy that I can't seem to shake. The circumstances surrounding my brother's death were curious. Jack's emotional wounds were too deep to overcome, but I believe, had he chosen more discerningly when selecting a partner, his story may have played out differently. It got me thinking about our choices in life...especially our choice of life partners.

I use the words “life partner” because it might be a friend or relative that you've had in your life for years; it might be your mother (she says with tongue in cheek). If they are not serving your highest and greatest good, then why do we keep them in our lives? Habit.                                               Social norms. Delusion. Ah, the amazing, complicated psyche.

I am not denying personal responsibility when it comes to steering our lives, but who we have around us matters. Jack chose a toxic partner, but I suppose that was their karma to work out.

Here is what I know of my choice in partners: Pete challenges me and I challenge him. I didn't always appreciate this quality in him, but I think that is where the magic lies. It is easy to have a yes man/woman in your life, but harder to have someone that challenges your world view. The thing is, having someone you love and respect challenge your world view is where growth comes from.

I have a friend, a really straight-laced, khaki pants, sport jacket kind of guy, who once said to me “You are really a seeker Lisa.” I liked that. I also like that Pete and I worked through all our shit to get to this good place. This place where we can appreciate input from our partner; sometimes I change my course based on Pete's input, sometimes I don't, but I greatly appreciate the love and respect he gives me as he tells me he doesn't see it the way I see it. What I took away from Sibling's Day was to choose your partner well. It can make all the difference for those of us seekers trying to create a happy life.

In my quietest moments, those moments where there's a crack in time and I hover between dream and reality, that's when my imagination wanders; I create a life for my brother in great, painful, detail...and then I wake, wishing once more that he had chosen differently.