Cousins

 

My family lost the last of these bright, hopeful faces yesterday.  

Each of their lives snuffed out much earlier 

than necessary due to drugs. 

Notice they are all boys. 

I have not lost a female relative 

to drugs yet. 

I can’t stop thinking why? 

Why the men succumb to life’s pressures and the women persevere?

 

Is it that our parents’ parented the boys differently?

Is it toxic masculinity? 

Is it despair that comes with growing up in our

little Midwest town? 

A town which I still inexplicably love.

Yet, for the underprivileged, it is a town that feels

like a deep pit of hopelessness. 

Anxiety and despair await around each corner. 

It’s good to be in the middle class in our little town. 

Even better to be in the ruling class, but that’s not my people.

Yet, the women grow up in this same town with these 

same socioeconomic factors at play...

and here the women stand weeping yet another loss.

 

 I got reacquainted with my 

cousin Ace when my dad was in the hospital. 

After my dad’s death Ace stood by my sister and I as we 

battled my dad’s widow and her watchdog. 

“You ok babe?” 

“You need anything cuz?”

“Need me to go with you?”

 

To our children I say, “break this cycle.” 

Teach your boys to talk about their feelings. 

Teach them to ask for help. 

And above all love them the same way you love your girls.

 

I don’t have any answers, but maybe this is a place to start.