Who Supports Your Highest and Greatest Good?

      I think of myself as a bit of a sociologist. It goes deeper than just people watching for me; I find human interaction fascinating. I think this voyeurism, and I use this term in the most platonic fashion, began when I was a child and realized my family was a world apart from the families of my classmates. Until kindergarten I thought my parents were the coolest people in the whole world. My dad had a thick head of permed hair, wore turquoise jewelry, and drove an El Camino. My mom wore halter tops and bell bottoms and was always listening to classic rock. To this day Fleetwood Macs' Rumours is still one of my favorite albums. My mom was twenty when I entered school and my dad wasn't much older so they seemed incredibly hip to all the other kids; this was the first time I noticed my family was different. Noyes School, and the friends I made there, are what I attribute my “success” in life to, along with the fact that no matter how much we moved around my parents made sure they kept us in good schools. My husband likes to boil everything down to numbers and he informed me that by the time I moved out of my parents house we had moved, on average, every year and a half. If you got a glimpse of my W-2 you might dispute my “success”, but I use a different gauge for success. I have always told Jayne, as John Lennon's mother told him, the key to life is happiness. I believe that a happy life is a successful life. Obviously, nobody escapes life unscathed by troubles and I have had my fair share, but even when “life” as I like to refer to it arises, I still feel an underylying sense of well being even in the midst of trouble.

     I'm not sure how I achieved this state of contentment, but I know it's a gift. I think it's probably a plethora of circumstances...yoga, meditation, a little intuition, a lot of therapy, a few lucky breaks perhaps, and my childhood friends who showed me a different way, namely college. I have tenaciously held onto my friends from Missouri; even when they were busy with their own lives and didn't respond, I hung in there. I recently came back from a visit with these friends, a few I have known for over forty years, and I realized that they were my tethers to this life that I now have. I believe everything happens for a reason, sometimes it takes a while to figure it out, but if you wait long enough it will become clear. I can see now that the reason these women entered my life was to tether me to a better life, a different way of being in the world, and I'm insanely grateful to them. My journey has taken me far from Missouri, yet I know this is where my story began and I feel indebted to my parents for all the lessons they taught me. I have found a supportive, loving, and nurturing partner to share my life with and I surround myself with positive relationships that honor who I am without expectations of what I can do for them. I learned this from my childhood freinds. I thought long and hard on my way home from Kansas City about the way my life has unfolded and I am filled with gratitude. We are all sociologists in our own way, modeling behaviors of those around us, and my hope is that I have shown Jayne how to tether herself to people who will help her meet her full potential as well. My family is like my own personal sociological experiment these days, so the queston of the week has been, “Who will you tether yourself to? Who is going to help bring out your highest and greatest self?” I can firmly answer Becky, Alison, Eve, and Anne. Thanks Ladies, I love and appreciate you more than you could ever know.   

Lessons From The Blue Fish

      

     As I sat in the Miami airport waiting for a connecting flight I found myself reflecting on the quiet ease that seemed to permeate our vacation in Aruba. Even Jayne had little to complain about once she figured out there was WiFi in the resort lobby. This trip, and the luxury of lounging on a white sandy beach for a week, was something I had been looking forward to for months; our vacations normally consist of hiking in a park or visiting family with little down time. As we got closer to our destination I reminded myself that sometimes when I build up an event in my mind it can be sorely lacking. So, as our taxi approached the resort, I took a deep breath and reminded myself to let go of expectations. I reminded myself of this concept throughout the week when things weren't going according to plan; whether we were waiting for a bus that was late, eating a meal that I'm pretty sure was just pan fried chicken covered in Pace picante sauce that cost way too much, or painstakingly navigating our way to a shop only to find it closed. I was determined to roll with whatever came my way this trip and then, on our first day out, I saw a beautiful tropical fish that helped to cement my resolve.

     The resort we stayed at has a private island with water taxis running every fifteen minutes to and from the island. The island consisted of a small outdoor restaurant, a cabana with towels and floats to borrow, another cabana used for private massage, along with two beautiful beaches attached by boardwalks spanning the lagoons and inlets. As we wandered around the first day we stopped on a piece of the boardwalk that extends out over an inlet of water. We stood still quietly looking down into the turquoise water that is synonymous with the Carribbean and noticed it was teaming with life. All sorts of tropical fish had come in away from the open water. I imagined that, like us, these fish had come to this island to rest where it was less turbulent, and one particular fish caught my eye. It was about a foot long, bright blue, and completely at ease in its environment. I observed this beautiful fish floating effortlessly, moving with the small undulations of the inlet as though it was one with the water, for what seemed to stretch into hours, yet, in reality, it was just a few minutes. As I stood on the boardwalk in that moment I realized that I don't take the time to stop and truly see what is in front of me nearly often enough. I practiced this “being in the moment” mindset throughout the rest of the week and I can say it was the best vacation that we (notice I wrote “we”, not just me) have had in years. I'm not sure if my attitude was contagious or the island attitude swept us all away, but it was a magical week, imperfections and all. I just hope to remember this experience as life comes roaring back at me tomorrow.  Perhaps I'll print out a copy of the tropical blue fish and put it on my kitchen pantry for inspiration.