These last few weeks
have been challenging. There were a few times in the last ten days that
I wasn’t
sure I was going to keep going on this new path.
I had no idea what
classroom management would look like with sixty wild, funny, little nymphs. For
some it is the first time they’ve ever set foot in an organized, school style
setting and I am woefully lacking in experience.
I think we are finally finding
equilibrium.
This weekend I registered
and began studying for my second round of state testing for my teacher
certification. This test will cover math and science. Suddenly this
Humanities-loving scholar gets to revisit algebra, geometry, ratios, and a
whole bunch of science stuff I barely made it through thirty years ago.
Then I got a call on
Thursday saying my last class for licensing was cancelled due to low enrollment.
After many phone calls, and much scrambling, I applied for, was admitted to, registered
for, and maneuvered my way around the online system at Santa Fe College to get
into the class I needed. I have an assignment due on Sunday. I ordered the book
that I need for this assignment tonight and hope that it comes before I
leave for Kansas City
on Thursday.
Pete’s oldest and
dearest friend’s daughter is getting married on Saturday in Kansas City and all
I was thinking is “how am I going to fit it all in? Homework, test prep, my own
curriculum to prepare, dogs to walk, travel….”
Tonight, as I
finished a short assignment for my new class, I impulsively asked Pete to go
for a walk.
Lately that impulse has been negated by a waterfall of
“things you still need to do”….but not tonight.
After our walk I
rolled out my yoga mat for a short practice.
Then I sat on my meditation
cushion. Still. Quiet.
The patio doors open.
Crickets humming.
And my practice
kicked in.
Reality…...
I have a roof over my
head. The ability (and means) to go to school and work. A partner who can still
make my heart flutter after a million years together. A daughter who is strong
and brave,
braver than I ever dreamed of being at twenty-two.
This path that I have
been traversing for so long has enabled me to live from a
place of gratitude
for what I have and enables me to truly see it, even when
I fall into a crevasse of self-pity.
I just don’t stay too long these days.
