Move a Muscle, Change a Thought

   I’d like to present myself as a fully enlightened being after all these years of meditation, self-reflection, thousands of dollars spent on therapy, 

but still, I’m human…

and lately I’m struggling hard with aging and 

the effects it’s having on my body. 

Some days my training kicks in and I know that I’m strong and healthy and that aging is a privilege that some don’t get. Yet, there are other days that I have to fight to suppress the negative language that pushes up from deep within my 

subconscious about my body.

I realized last night that some of the thoughts that are sprouting up are not mine, 

but seeds that were planted long ago by others.

 Even at this age I’m still fighting the messages I received having

 grown up in a misogynistic family: 

“men can carry extra weight so much better”, “she’s a homely girl”, “do you really need that second helping?”, “that makes you look like a slut”, 

“aren’t you pretty when you put on make-up and fix your hair”, 

“you’re too thin”, “you’ve put on some weight”. 

There was always some kind of critique about my looks and 

this critique was always given because 

“they cared about me”. 

 No matter how much work I do to further my spiritual growth, by that I mean becoming more and more detached from worldly bullshit, 

I believe that I will always struggle with this to some extent. 

However, I need to pay closer attention to which thoughts are mine 

and which have been planted by loving, 

but very flawed human beings. 

My hope is that this blog will get each of you thinking about what you carry that might not be yours? Once you discover the answer to this question 

I hope that you too might begin to change your thought process. 

To paraphrase the Buddha, 

“ the less that I suffer the less suffering I will inflict on others.”